I took my family to the Australia Reptile Park yesterday for a day of family fun. I felt like, after the last 12 weeks, we deserved to have a day out enjoying the world and each other. The day was so sickly sweet, one of those days where you just fall so in love with your life and your family and you just cannot wipe that smile of your face. The type of day that you get in the car and make the trip home and the whole way you gush about how much fun you have had.
Yesterday, I fell head over heels, completely and totally in love with my family, just that little bit more. When Evelyn was first born, someone said to me "You will think you love her as much as possible, until you wake up tomorrow". Motherhood really is like that, isn't it? Every day you wake up and you just love them that little bit more.
The last 12 weeks have been challenging and rewarding. Punishing and extraordinary. Difficult but completely enjoyable. Zalia, although suffering terribly from silent reflux, is such a happy little baby. I can see her joy, her smiles and her love in her eyes. Even through the most impressive fits of screaming and crying, there is this little twinkle in her eyes that say "make me better mummy and I will smile all day for you". She has a hold over me, she can keep me awake all night and she can scream at me for hours on end but my god do I love her. She made her arrival and within moments we all knew that she always meant to be a part of us. She watches all of us with such wonder, her eyes following us where ever we go. Her biggest smiles are saved for her Sister. She belongs, right where she is. She is undoubtedly the best thing we have done for Evelyn. She makes us whole.
Evelyn has been the most amazingly beautiful and adaptable two year I have ever seen, perhaps I am bias? She has not had a moment of jealousy, she accepted Zalia into her life and has never questioned why she is here. Zalia is her little sister, her baby. She acts as though that has always been so, which makes me believe that they already had a connection. When Evelyn falls and hurts herself, not only will she bring her hurt to me for a kiss, but she then takes it to "sali" and asks for a kiss. Recently when she spent some nights away from home and we picked her up, she wasn't just excited for Mummy and Daddy, but she was excited for Zalia. She spent an hour running to Daddy for a squeeze and a kiss, to Mummy and to Zalia. She loves her, adores her.
For anyone who has been following our journey on Instagram and Facebook, you would all know that I have been having quite a hard time adjusting to parenting two babies. I have really been struggling with Zalia's reflux. It has been the hardest thing I have ever done. But, I have had some of the best days of my life and my love for my children is extraordinary. It is incredible and indescribable. I am shocked by how easily I have been able to spread my love across the two girls, which was my biggest worry while I was pregnant.
I havent been able to commit much time to writing here, which is totally okay with me, I am dedicating my time to my girls. Once I find a happy medium at home and am able to work out a way to enjoy time to myself, then I will begin to write more frequently here. Every day I have a thought of a post I would like to write, something I would like to capture for my girls. But come time to be able to sit down in quiet, I mostly fall asleep. So things will stay pretty quiet around here for a little while.
Know this, I am so grateful for all the support given to me through here, facebook and instagram. So very grateful! You guys have been my saviours and I am thankful to each and every one of you in a way that I could never even begin to explain. I feel like I have built some pretty solid relationships with you and I hope that one day I will be able to extend the same support and encouragement to you, shall you ever need it.
Life is grand, isn't it?
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